Yes, they ARE jealous of your faith.
Unbelievers, those who view God as some false notion, have very little to hold onto. They embrace no lasting promises, no hope for anything beyond this world. Dealing with difficult times, like the loss of a loved one, an illness, or the prospect of dying is harder for them. Forgiveness is harder for them, even difficult to understand at times. Studies show that people of faith deal with life’s troubles more easily. It’s an interesting state of affairs, and while people rarely think about it in these terms, the actions and feelings of non-believers are not unlike those of the profoundly jealous.
Dr. Lisa Firestone, in her Psychology Today article, What Drives Jealousy, explains that, “[t]he problem with jealousy is that it masks other feelings and attitudes that are even more hurtful to us and those closest to us. Its intensity is often shielding deep-seated feelings of possessiveness, insecurity or shame.” It’s not so much that jealousy is a purposeful state. It is, instead, a reaction to others revealing our own insecurities and shame, making us feel like outsiders, alone and powerless, even victimized.
Studies published by the US National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health, bolster the facts. People with Godly beliefs live better lives, make more money, experience more harmony, have more friends, possess greater hope for the future, live longer, and cope with stress better—many even thrive in the face of adversity. Unbelievers grieve more, have a harder time coping with stress, suffer greater neurological damage in the face of certain illnesses, and even have longer recovery times for both physical and emotional trauma.
When speaking to people of Godly faith, about those who have none, most religious people I know feel both a concern for the welfare of the unbeliever and a genuine joyful-hope for the future. They are hopeful that unbelievers will someday have what they have, and thrive. When speaking to unbelievers about people of faith, my experience has been very different. Many ridicule and demean, lash out, roll their eyes, act in ways that are indistinguishable from deep-rooted jealousy. It’s clear that they feel alone, outsiders in a world that is overwhelmingly religious. They are in the minority, and are highly reactive to people who live lives of Godly faith. They want to be accepted—to not be outsiders anymore, and to thrive without God. They don’t want to feel ashamed, or powerless for rejecting religious beliefs in a world filled with believers.
It’s important to remember that unbelievers want what Godly believers have—social acceptance, good lives, and joyous hope. But some of these things simply don’t come to unbelievers. They cannot both reject God and take comfort from His promises of fulfillment. They cannot have the same hope for the future, or draw strength from Godly beliefs during difficult times. For the unbeliever, most times are difficult times. It’s not surprising that they react negatively when confronted with Godly messages. They want things they cannot have without conceding to the views of others. They are empty vessels, discontented at deep-seated levels they cannot understand, accept, or even recognize. For unbelievers, reactions like anger and jealousy are understandable. The accompanying feelings of frustration are especially hard for those who have little else to hold onto.
Remember this the next time you approach an unbeliever with the Gospel. From their perspective, they are only “reacting” negatively to you—and you are the one putting them in that position, making them feel alone and powerless, victimized, an outsider. They probably cannot accept that these are their feelings, or process the real reasons they feel disdain for Godly religion. Saying so will only infuriate them, sending them deeper into denial–scurrying to recount how they don’t need God to be happy. To many unbelievers, the messages you hope to convey are perceived to be hurtful, scraping up a host of negative emotions within their psyche. It’s very difficult to convince an unbeliever to come in from the cold, especially in a fallen world that seeks to draw them away. Understanding their feelings can help Godly believers be more patient, generous, and kind. Love them, and be gentle. Unbelievers have a very difficult life to begin with. Be a force of love, always careful to do no harm. Don’t pile on, or otherwise inflate their insecurities. To help an unbeliever, you must be compassionate, inviting, and never demanding.